{"id":109,"date":"2008-05-23T21:12:33","date_gmt":"2008-05-24T05:12:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/glorajean.com\/content\/?p=109"},"modified":"2008-05-23T21:12:33","modified_gmt":"2008-05-24T05:12:33","slug":"how-to-become-ocd-in-10-easy-steps-not-for-the-weak-of-stomach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/?p=109","title":{"rendered":"How to Become OCD in 10 Easy Steps (not for the weak of stomach)"},"content":{"rendered":"

1.\u00a0 Use a public restroom, or better yet, observe a public restroom.\u00a0 Note the lack of handwashing.\u00a0 Now you’re trapped!\u00a0 Wait for someone else to open the door and slip out behind them or grab a paper towel and brave it yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Visit a retail dressing room.\u00a0 Better yet, work at a retail store and clean one out regularly.\u00a0 On second though, don’t.<\/span><\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Enjoy a relaxing meal at your local McDonald’s, but make sure this fine dining establishment is equipped with an indoor playground.\u00a0 Ah, the wonderful sounds of children enjoying themselves!\u00a0 Does the janitorial staff really <\/span><\/em>fit inside the play equipment?<\/span><\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Work as a bank teller.\u00a0 Between the canine digested (and passed) bills being exchanged and the chili dog covered miniature poodle sitting on your counter, you’ll get the picture.<\/span><\/p>\n

5.\u00a0 Have you ever seen somebody sneeze and then immediately shake hands with another person?\u00a0 Nothing says “Gee, sir (or madame), I would love to work for your company!” like sharing saliva.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

6.\u00a0 Stand in line in front of someone hacking out a lung\u00a0during cold and flu season.\u00a0 Inhale the fresh air!<\/span><\/p>\n

7.\u00a0 On your next plane ride, enjoy your flight while the passenger next to you is incessantly “ripping one.”\u00a0 (Hey, Mom, I didn’t use the word fart!)\u00a0 Okay, so maybe this is just kind of nasty, but you might become OCD about where the emergency exits and oxygen masks are.<\/span><\/p>\n

8.\u00a0 Three words for you.\u00a0 Doc’s Pizza Buffet.<\/span><\/p>\n

9.\u00a0 On any given weekday, ask my mom about how her day at work in the food service industry was.<\/span><\/p>\n

10.\u00a0 While eating out, watch as the kid at a table near yours sucks on the\u00a0cap of\u00a0a ketchup bottle\u00a0like it’s a baby’s bottle.\u00a0 Guzzle, guzzle!\u00a0 You know it’s bad when his own dad has to search out another bottle from another table to get some ketchup.<\/span><\/p>\n

If these 10 steps don’t provide adequate results, you may consider professional help.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1.\u00a0 Use a public restroom, or better yet, observe a public restroom.\u00a0 Note the lack of handwashing.\u00a0 Now you’re trapped!\u00a0 Wait for someone else to open the door and slip out behind them or grab a paper towel and brave it yourself. 2.\u00a0 Visit a retail dressing room.\u00a0 Better yet, work at a retail store … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-far-flung-northern-report"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=109"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.glorajean.com\/content\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}