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January, 2011

  1. The Other Three-Sixteens

    January 13, 2011 by Ryan

    Arguably, the most famous verse repeated from the New Testament is The Gospel According to John, Chapter 3, Verse 16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

    Many of the other authors wrote a third chapter and a sixteenth verse. I wondered to myself, ‘Did they have anything special to write in their 3-16 spot?’

    So here, for fun, I present the other three-sixteens of the New Testament.

    Matthew 3:16 And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him:

    Mark 3:16 And Simon he surnamed Peter

    Luke 3:16 John answered, saying unto them all, I indeed baptize you with water; but one mightier than I cometh, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to unloose: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with fire:

    Acts 3:16 And his name through faith in his name hath made this man strong, whom ye see and know: yea, the faith which is by him hath given him this perfect soundness in the presence of you all.

    Romans 3:16 Destruction and misery are in their ways:

    1 Corinthians 3:16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

    2 Corinthians 3:16 Nevertheless when it shall turn to the Lord, the vail shall be taken away.

    Galatians 3:16 Now to Abraham and his seed were the promises made. He saith not, And to seeds, as of many; but as of one, And to thy seed, which is Christ.

    Ephesians 3:16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

    Philippians 3:16 Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.

    Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

    2nd Thessalonians 3:16 Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord be with you all.

    1st Timothy 3:16 And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.

    2nd Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

    Hebrews 3:16 For some, when they had heard, did provoke: howbeit not all that came out of Egypt by Moses.

    James 3:16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

    1st Peter 3:16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.

    2nd Peter 3:16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.

    1st John 3:16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

    Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.


  2. I’m going to use the “N-word”

    January 6, 2011 by Ryan

    I must warn you… I’m going to use the “N-word” today.

    Does that offend you? Well, to be fair, I’m going to use several “N-words” in this piece.

    Here comes the first N-word… Are you ready?

    “Nonsense.”

    That is my humble opinion of the story.

    It seems that Alan Gribben and NewSouth Books in Alabama want to publish the books “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” and “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” in a slightly edited form. He wants to make the following changes:

    Anytime the term “Nigger” is used, he wants to replace it with “slave.”

    Any references to ol’ “Injun Joe” will be changed to “Indian Joe” instead.

    “Half-breed” will become “Half-Blood” as a replacement.

    To that, I add my next N-word.

    “Nuts!”

    I have to wonder what the motive is? Reasonably, it is to sell books. They believe that if they give these classics a politically correct scrubbing, people will be inclined to buy them.

    Keep in mind that Mark Twain himself admitted that “a ‘classic’ is a book which people praise and don’t read.”

    Well, I suppose, if that is what he believes will get more people to purchase his copy, and as long as he has proper copyright permission to do it, then God bless him – oh, wait, I think I’m not supposed to mention God anymore. That might offend someone too. But maybe he is right, and maybe there is a demand for such a reinterpretation of the work.

    What really bugs me is the fact that we have to talk about sanitizing the books in the first place. Are we that weak as a society that the word “Nigger” is so offensive that we just can’t handle it?

    (I’d call and ask Dr. Laura’s opinion, but strangely enough I can’t seem to find her show on the radio anymore)

    If that is the case, then shame on us. Shame on a people that are so weak that they cannot face up to historical realities.

    I feel bad for the reader that, whether knowingly or unknowingly, picks up this edition of either book and participates in a cheapened, lesser experience. That reader will have stolen from them the opportunity of enjoying the original.

    That is too bad. I’d like my children grow up without prejudices, and a healthy part of teaching that is to present them with the truth, as it really happened. Not edited or sanitized or hidden, pretending it didn’t exist. It would be appropriate to add an introduction explaining the historical context. Then present the original unfiltered version. Afterward, follow up with an open discussion what is different today and why.

    What stops the editors from further cleaning up the text, by changing Injun Joe into “Native American Joseph”? And what should we make of Huck Finn’s horrific grammar? If we are making corrections for our children, shouldn’t we correct the language usage mistakes that proliferate the tome? After all, we if don’t want them exposed to anything wrong, lets sanitize it all the way!

    As they read the new version of the story which would then be not nearly as much fun as the original?

    “No-Thanks!”