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April, 2010

  1. Customer Disservice Award Winner

    April 17, 2010 by Ryan

    Today, we are please to present the Customer Disservice Award to Bryant, an expressionless young male cashier sporting a gaudy large black earring at the Springville Utah Walmart store. Bryant made a significant contribution this evening to keeping the checkout lines long and deep.

    Throughout the stressful job of fumbling through the products to locate the very technical and complex computer bar codes, Bryant managed to avoid sharing any words of greeting or thank you to his customers – showing off the tremendously difficult and increasingly commonplace skill of indifference.

    Bryant had a special opportunity to demonstrate his apathy when one of our intended purchases scanned at the incorrect price. When Glorajean pointed out the error, which was on a product that had the correct price clearly printed above the universal product code that he had just scanned, Bryant took great pains to locate the item and void it from the bill of sale rather than correct the price, thus saving the entire Walmart organization the embarrassment of actually heeding their slogan “Always the Right Price. Always.”

    Such lackadaisical enthusiasm deserves recognition from all levels – from the pesky customers all the way to the top management. May we be the first to offer our congratulations to Bryant, our customer disservice award winner of the day.

  2. Setting Up “Out of My Mind” Auto e-mail Notifications

    April 13, 2010 by Ryan

    Outlook allows automatic “Out of Office” responses to email, but I would like to send automatic “Out of My Mind” replies to all email messages I receive. How can I do that?

    Instructions for Microsoft Office Outlook 2007

    Outlook | Tools | Rules and Alerts

    Select “Check messages when they arrive”

    On the Step 1: Select Conditions page, do not choose any option. Click Next.

    You will be prompted with a question “This rule will be applied to every message you receive. Is this correct?” Answer “Yes”

    On the Step 1: Select Action(s) page, check “have server reply using a specific message

    Under Step 2: Edit the rule description (click an underlined value), click on the underlined wording “a specific message”

    A new email message will open.

    You may leave the To field blank.

    In the Subject line, type the automatic phrase that you want to send to all users (such as “Out of My Mind Notification”).

    Optionally, you may include a message also.

    Close the message.

    You will notice that the underlined wording which used to read “a specific message” has now changed to be the subject of the email you just typed.

    Click Next.

    Under the “Are there any exceptions?” page, you may leave all options blank, or you may choose to refine the settings (such as checking “Except if from people or distribution list” and specifying the boss, perhaps?)

    Click Next.

    On the last page, Finish Rule Setup, be sure that the check box “Turn on this rule” is checked. If you want to send the reply to all email currently sitting in your inbox, check the “Run this rule now” option.

    Click Finish.

  3. Take a Ride on a Large Rock

    April 7, 2010 by Ryan

    The Earth is really an amazing place. Most of those reading this post call it home.

    I wake up in the morning and hear the birds chirping. I feel the cool breeze, as the air has lowered in temperature overnight. Soon the first beams of the sun begin to appear in the sky, over the majestic mountaintops. From high above the land in an uncomfortable window seat on an airplane, I’ve seen those same sunbeams protruding over the horizon, and could almost detect the natural curvature of the globe on which we live.

    Yet think of the incredible forces that occur every moment.

    We have a biosphere which affects an atmosphere. It is covered in aerobic organisms. We have an protective ozone layer and a magnetic field that permitting life to exist. Earth (at least the land part) is covered in tectonic plates that feature gradual migratory movement. Salt-water oceans saturate the planet, whose waves and flow are affected by the gravitational pull of the sun. That same pull means that instead of travelling a straight path, our momentum has us circling that orb.  We circle the sun in a 93,205,678 miles round trip at about 67,108 miles per hour (108,000 km/h). At the same time, we tumble round and round on our own axis at just over 1000 miles per hour (depending somewhat on your location in proximity to the equator).

    All of that motion makes me want to take a Dramamine®.

    The richness and resources of the planet are equally astounding. We dig within the rock and find valuable materials, such as salt, metals, minerals, and coal. Some areas feature reserves of natural gas, while others are rich in oil that fuel our modern life. In our more recent history, we have built automobiles, airplanes, and space shuttles which we use to travel about the planet, creating more motion and momentum.

    I wonder how all of this came to be? Matter is neither created nor destroyed, so I picture the Creator taking a little here and a little there from the elements to bring a basic world together. Some volcanic rock here; some topsoil there. Like a Chia-Pet®, add water and grow. Then I imagine the steady hand of God touching the highest mountaintop and giving it a push to begin its 24 hour axis orbit. Add a breath of wind to direct it into the gravitational path of the sun, where it began its rotation.

    And as I ride upon that large rock, in my perception, I stand outside my home and listen to the birds chirp, feel the cool breeze, and watch the first rays of the sun appear to my view. I find moments of peace, quiet, and calm in a planet that is nothing but.

  4. Go Green!

    April 1, 2010 by Ryan

    I am pleased to pass along this important information… everyone in America now has a convenient way to recycle the used cardboard tube left over after you finish up your roll of toilet tissue.

    The “Welcoming Individual Persons of Environmental Designs” organization is pleased to announce their 2010 project, the “Outreach Under Tissue” recycling campaign!

    They will accept your donation in the following way… Simply write their collection address directly on the roll, and drop it in any United States Postal Service collection box. Your roll will be sent to recycling headquarters, where they will even pick up the postage for you!

    Once again, be sure to print clearly and legibly their address on your roll, and mail it in.

    W.I.P.E.D.  O.U.T.
    1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
    Washington, DC 20500-0003

    It is a fabulous opportunity for every citizen to get involved and show your spirit, while supporting such a fine cause.