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July, 2008

  1. Finding Your Inner Red Neck . . . at a Price

    July 30, 2008 by Nate and Michelle

    The demolition derby rolled over several cars and right into town last weekend.  We have heard from several reliable sources that it is quite the experience.  Nate had a big city brother staying with us and we were all incredibly excited to go, that is until we saw the ticket price.  $10.  Ten bucks to hang out with your fellow red neckers in quite possibly the most white trash sporting event since Nascar!  That’s like 10 Freezies!  Sadly, my hickish dreams for entertainment died last Saturday night.  Maybe we can figure out how to win tickets to next year’s event.


  2. Karl Rove must be absolutely brilliant

    July 19, 2008 by Ryan

    During my lunch break, I like to spread out the newspaper and relax. At least, sometimes it is relaxing. Sometimes it is just bewildering.

    Like this article about Karl Rove. Karl is apparently the smartest strategist in the Republican Party, supposedly the one who masterminded the entire campaign and was responsible for the election of President George W. Bush.

    Now-a-days, he works for Fox News as a commentator. But he apparently still carries a lot of weight, as this article points out.

    Because the entire article is about analyzing the political analysis of Karl Rove.

    It seems that Karl was speaking nice things about Mitt Romney. So people listened to Karl, and started thinking nice things about Mitt. But Karl, being a brilliant strategist, recognized that if people heard him (Karl) saying too many nice things about Mitt, those people might think that he (Karl) was promoting him (Mitt). And he (Karl) is smart enough to recognize that if Mitt Romney is too closely associated with Karl Rove, people will think that he (Karl) is campaigning for him (Mitt) for Vice-President, and that sort of association could hurt him (Mitt). So he (Karl) strategically began talking about his (Mitt’s) bad points and weaknesses, so as to create the public perception that he (Karl) is not doing anything strategic toward promoting him (Mitt), while in reality he (Karl) was strategically raising awareness of him (Mitt) in the public eye.

    Huh?

    So I read this article where political analysis from varied universities proceed to offer their take on what Karl is really up to. Is he, or is he not, really trying to campaign for Mitt? Is Mitt starting to be perceived as “Karl Rove’s creature?” Is McCain tuning into Fox News each night to get secret coded instructions from Karl? Is Karl really “thinking a few chess moves ahead with every comment?”

    And I couldn’t help but wonder if Karl would choose “Mexi-Ice” or “The Freezie” — and of those, what flavor would he pick, because that might have influence on the way the voters of America tie their shoes.

    Karl may never be smart enough to run for office himself. But he might just be too smart to run, too.

    More analysis at 11.


  3. Another edition of ‘I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that when . . .’

    July 18, 2008 by Nate and Michelle

    The events that follow may not seem the sort that leave a lasting impression, but I can tell you that two days later I am still seeing the effects.

    It was a normal Wednesday night.  Nate and I were hankering for a sweet treat and set off in our little car through our little town, down the little Main Street to the little Artic Circle for (most likely) our new favorite find: the flavorburst cone (my favorite is Raspberry).  Feeling more healthful than usual, I noted that we could stop for a LOW FAT tasty treat at one of the many Freezie (country for snow cone) shacks located throughout our town.  We had already passed up at least 3 (I lost count), so we turned around and headed back towards one.  We happened to pick the shack that is located just outside Kent’s – the premiere grocery depot of the land – which is across the street from Taco Time: home of the mysterious Mexi-Ice.  Choices, choices.  I’ll let you choose your own ending, although ours is fairly obvious.

    Allow me to lay out the pro’s and con’s of each low fat frozen [questionably] ice treat. 

    The Mexi-Ice.  Taco Time describes the Mexi-Ice as “A sweet frozen concoction available in various flavors. A refreshing accompaniment to round out your meal.”  For an excellent critical analysis on the Mexi-Ice, I refer you to my friend, Brittany’s blog http://mostlyprobably.wordpress.com/2008/06/16/box-elders-favorite-treat-a-critical-analysis/ – I think I just tagged someone! To summarize this article, the Mexi-Ice is an incredibly shiny, over the top treat made probably of ice (we’re not sure) and other stuff (we’re also not sure – Taco Time never emailed me back) which does not have any qualities common to generic ice treats: it does not melt and it holds its shape.  Although it sounds like perfection, the Mexi-Ice does have a few negative qualities.  First, it only comes in one flavor at a time, which from our experience the flavor on the sign and the flavor of your delicacy are not necessarily the same (i.e. lime=pina colada).  Secondly, it is pricier than the common snow cone, er, I mean Freezie.  Sorry about that slip up.  Thirdly, well, it’s mysterious.  The entire time devouring the Mexi-Ice is devoted to an inner debate of what it is and why you can’t stop eating it.  In conclusion, the Mexi-Ice is an experience. 

    The Freezie.  The Freezie is basically a snow cone in a normal cup (none of those dunce cap cups) for you out of towners.  A few admirable traits of the Freezie are the convenience (there are probably about 20 Freezie shacks in T-town/Garland alone), the cost (a Freezie costs much less than it’s finer counterpart the Mexi-Ice), and last but not least the flavors.  I didn’t count the whole list, but it was an 8.5×11 paper with two columns of flavors.  Although Wedding Cake was crossed out, so that one doesn’t count.  Creola cheese cake should probably be crossed out too.  Cheese cake and ice just don’t mix, and I’m not sure what Creola means, but I’m pretty sure it’s Greek for nasty.  I’ll ask my old Greek co-worker when I see her next month.  You can also add sour spray for free.  The boys in front of us were insistent that their Freezies were absolutely drenched with it so it must be good.  Now on to the cons.  I already mentioned the Creola Cheese Cake flavor, didn’t I?  I told Nate not to do it.  The boy working in the shack even asked him if he was sure when he ordered it.  He should have known better.  I, however got a fairly common flavor.  Blue Raspberry.  Yum.  The flavor syrup to ice ratio was absolutely perfect.  So I bet you’re wondering where the con comes in.  Well, it comes the next morning.  Apparently the food coloring in the syrup is non-digestible.  Also apparently, the whole town must find it ordinary to wake up with turquoise bm’s.  And the final apparently (as I found out this morning), the non-digestible syrup takes quite a while to mosey on out.  I guess I should have gotten the cheese cake with Nate, at least it was clear.  Perhaps the color of one’s bm’s is a bit much to share with the blogging world.  Just let it serve as a caution next time you pick a low fat tasty frozen treat.        

    So, there you have it.  Next time you’re in town, I invite you to choose your own ending.

     


  4. Land Speed Record

    July 11, 2008 by Nate and Michelle

    I think I just broke my own record.  I have recently become very adept at re-setting all of the clocks around our house.  Well, with the exception of one which neither of us have yet to figure out and always read the wrong time before we even moved here.  It seems that the small town in which we habitate is possibly experiencing growing pains.  This comes in the form of frequent random power outages (a list of things to do in T-town during said outages follows).  Quite often these outages are just long enough to erase the time on all your clocks, and sometimes they last quite a bit longer.  Being a seasonably warm month, this phenomenon has picked up of late.  Thus, both of us have become very skilled at setting the time on our many clocks throughout the house (whoever thought of battery operated clocks must be very rich now!).  Everyone knows that girls only want guys with great skills (which I assume goes both ways) so we have found this to be a real relationship picker upper.  So, before your next outage, read up in your owner manuals on how to set the time on your clocks!  Your newfound skills will be seriously impressive.  Seriously.  Now if only they’d make clock setting an Olympic sport . . .

    Things to do around here when the power is out:  study your clock’s owner’s manuals, appreciate cows, go for a walk, light a trash can to warm the homeless, do the power dance . . . I’m sure there’s more.  


  5. Sacred spumoni?

    July 11, 2008 by Ryan

    The last days have come. Jesus has reappeared! And there was an apparent misunderstanding. It seems that the great melting of the world will actually take place at room temperature (the change probably had something to do with the sudden onset of global warming).

    The righteous shall be as chocolate sauce, nuts, and a cherry. All are invited to come, and partake of his righteousness! (just don’t take too much – there are only three gallons of His Righteousness to share)

    There are 31 flavors to choose from. But only one shall bring salvation.

    The wicked, who waffle as a cone, shall suffer from sudden headaches if they eat too fast.

    For the Lord has returned again to the earth! Proclaim his salvation! Store Him and His Word safely below 30 degrees Fahrenheit!

    For the Lord Almighty has returned again to the earth! He hath come suddenly, as a dairy delivery in the night, with great flavor and creamy consistency.

    http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,700241916,00.html


  6. Support your Local Cow: Friday, July 11

    July 9, 2008 by Nate and Michelle

    I have always supported Chick-fil-a’s valiant efforts to save the cows and promote cow awareness across the globe.  It only helps that their food contains some sort of deliciously addictive substance that one only needs smell to start saliva production.  Recently, I was pleasantly surprised to recieve an email from their company promoting Cow Appreciation Day.  To honor this great holiday, Chick-fil-a is offering a free combo meal to anyone dressed up as a cow, and a free entree to those chickens who only partially dress in cow paraphernalia.       

    Since my closest Chick-fil-a is about an hour away, I will probably just stay here and appreciate real cows (or the herd of fake cows taking over my kitchen).  However, for those of you city folk who are so unprivileged as to have no local cows to appreciate, I highly recommend heading over to your local Chick-fil-a anytime on Friday, July 11.  And don’t forget to dress up like a cow so you can graze on their chicken! 

    http://www.cowappreciationday.com/


  7. A Trip Through Time

    July 1, 2008 by Ryan

    It was all sparked by a cheesy birthday gift. The video was about a 30 minute commercial for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “newly” formed rock band. With that group, they hosted a stage show and put out an album. The 1990 debut album, “Coming Out Of Our Shells,” was to introduce to the world the amazing subterranean sounds of the green fab 4.

    I watched the video with great amusement. The acting was corny, and the clips of the stage show performances were just awful. Only a five year old would enjoy the show. And there were several five-year-old boys shown in the audience, going bonkers over the experience.

    Through that video, I heard snippets of the songs. I remembered being young, and pestering my family with requests to go to Pizza Hut (this album was only available at the restaurant, and not sold in record stores!), and make the required purchase in order to secure my copy of the cassette tape. I thought hard, trying to remember if they offered a CD at the time – not that it would have mattered, as we didn’t own a CD player. But I did get my cassette tape, and I did listen to it enough times that the songs sunk into my brain.

    I started searching around, wondering if there were a CD available, how much it would cost me to get one today? eBay and Amazon didn’t get me very far. Seems that most folks who knew about the band didn’t have high opinions of it. I knew I could dig out my old cassette tape, and convert it to MP3’s, but a CD would give me a cleaner digital transfer. After trying a few different search terms, I finally hit upon it. A site that offered me downloads of the MP3s. I trained my favorite Firefox plugin, downthemall! onto the site, and in a few minutes I had my own collection. I don’t know the source of these songs (from tape or CD), but they sound pristine and perfect to me! And since I still own that old tape, I don’t feel terribly guilty for taking advantage of somebody else’s efforts to transfer them to MP3 for me.

    So then came the unexpected part. I listened to the album. I hadn’t heard it for years. But suddenly, I was a young man again, reliving a moment of childhood when those four ninja brothers were totally awesome! The music took me back to a place for a moment, and I enjoyed being there. Oh, the songs themselves are not all that great. But the feeling and the moment they took me to was nice.

    So thanks for the birthday gift that started my journey to my past! To quote Master Splinter, from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze… “The past returns, my son.”