The Maine Problem

Poor Tom Golisano. I read his story in the national news a few days ago.

Tom purchased a vacation home in Maine, and now he claims that he cannot enjoy it because his Canadian neighbors are making life miserable for himself and his family.

When he is not there, they hang out on his lawn. They scatter when he arrives on the scene to chase them away, but by then the damage is done and the yard is a complete mess – it is in no condition to play Frisbee on or have a picnic with the grandchildren.

Tom has asked his local government officials to get involved. He would like his neighbors deported. Or at least evicted.

What do his neighbors have to say about it when asked for comment?

“Honk! Honk! Honk!” said one.

“Honk! HONK!” replied another.

Then they turned their backs and flew away.

You see, Tom’s neighbors are geese. Canadian Geese.

They like Tom’s property too. Their ancestors have been flying by and nesting in the area for a long time. They have no intentions of leaving.

They are loud and messy. They relieve themselves on his lawn.

What is a billionaire to do when he simply can’t enjoy his vacation home in Maine?

Tom has decided not to pay his property tax bill anymore, until the city officials can control the geese.

Good luck with that, Tom! You try not paying your taxes, and see what kind of actions the officials take.

I’m just not feeling sorry for you.

Here you went and bought a nice home in a place where geese live, and now you are upset because geese live there.

Somehow that is the government’s fault?

This fight is for the birds!

Honk for Your Rights!

You know why those geese fly in a “V” formation? “V” stands for “Victory,” Tom! I’m certain they do it just to spite you.