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Exploring new features on facebook

April 13, 2009 by Ryan

Ryan… has just activated the new feature “facebook esp”
About an hour ago

Ryan… wonders how cool is that? Just think it and it goes on facebook! Whoa! What will they come up with next?
About 59 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… can’t find his USB drive. I know I put it here on my nightstand.
About 57 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… would be thinking bad words now (if he knew any), because he still can’t find his USB drive. Why does everything I’m looking for always seem to wander off around here?
About 56 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… found his usb drive. It was in his pocket with his keys and cell phone. Opps.
About 55 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…is thinking about eating toast made out of multi-grain wide-loaf bread.
About 53 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.
One friend likes this

Ryan… put the bread in the toaster. This wide-loaf bread doesn’t fit very well.
About 52 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…adjusted the toaster to medium and pressed down the lever.
About 52 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…thinks, yum, that will be good with butter.
About 50 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.
Two friends like this

Ryan…noticed that he is out of butter. Margarine will have to do.
About 51 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… decided that while he has the bread out, he will make a sandwich for his lunch today.
About 50 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… thinks that he will cut the cheese for his sandwich.
About 49 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… just realized that he put “cut the cheese” on his facebook status.
About 48 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.
Three friends like this!

Ryan… wonders if he should consider getting different friends.
About 48 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… wonders if any of the famous Osmond family have to make their own sandwiches for lunch.
About 47 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… can’t find a sharp knife to “slice” the cheese with.
About 46 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… thought he would try using a butter knife that was handy.
About 46 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… noted that the butter knife didn’t work so well.
About 46 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… placed the chunks of cheese on his sandwich.
About 45 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… picks out the “lite mayo” – but we already had this discussion, didn’t we?
About 45 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.
Link: http://www.glorajean.com/content/?p=514

Ryan… fishes some pickles out of the jar.
About 44 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… realized that the toast popped up some time ago.
About 43 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… saw that the toast came completely out of the toaster and landed to the side. It must have got some good air when it came out of the toaster! Nice spring action!
About 42 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… is ready to put the sandwich together. But the uneven cheese chunks are making this sandwich look lopsided.
About 41 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  is trying to fit the sandwich, made with uneven sliced cheese and wide-loaf multi-grain bread, into a standard size sandwich baggy.
About 40 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… smashed the sandwich into the baggy, but the pickles fell out and are laying separately in the bag.
About 39 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… will just deal with those at lunchtime, as he now puts the sandwich into his cooler.
About 38 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… adds some easter candy to his lunch cooler.
About 37 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.
1 friend likes this.

Ryan… has the toast “buttered” with margarine.
About 36 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… is thinking about what to eat for breakfast now. How about frosted mini-wheats to go with the toast?
About 34 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… poured the cereal. He emptied the box.
About 33 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… almost put the empty box into the recycling, but remember that it has a token on the back to cut out. Send in 8 tokens and $8.99 shipping and handling and you get a free disposable camera, in one of two designs based on Disney characters.
About 32 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… poured the milk and offered a prayer of thanks.
About 31 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… is eating his cereal and toast.
About 30 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… wonders if it would be possible to crack open the “disposable” camera, to replace the film and reuse the camera?
About 28 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… is thinking that the camera might not be a great deal. The film will need developing and that will cost additional money.
About 28 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… thinks how spoiled we are with digital cameras.
About 27 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… wonders if using a disposable camera is wasteful to the environment?
About 26 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… remembered reading a promise by Disney that in a few years, they will go completely “zero waste” in their theme parks. Can they really do that?
About 25 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… wonders if he thinks it, will facebook esp find the news release on that and post it automatically?
About 25 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.
Link: http://corporate.disney.go.com/news/corporate/2009/2009_0309_cr_release.html

Ryan… noticed that it is time to leave for work.
About  24 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  went upstairs to kiss his wife goodbye. She is awesome!
About  23 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  can’t find his shoes now.
About  22 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  is still hunting for his shoes. Why does everything I am looking for seem to wander off around here!
About 21 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  found his shoes, in the kitchen where he took them off and placed them to dry after coming in from the rain the other night.
About  20 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… is outside, searching for his newspaper now.
About  19 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… found his newspaper underneath the car.
About  18 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  got up from the driveway after nearly climbing under the car to retrieve the newspaper.
About  17 minutes ago  * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… is driving away, but thinking that it might be easier if the newspaper delivery guy would just put it on or near the porch.
About  17 minutes ago  * Updated via facebook esp.
Link: http://www.glorajean.com/content/?p=53

Ryan…  is wondering what my facebook page must look like by now?
About  16 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.
8 Friends commented on this.

Ryan…  is waiting at a dumb traffic light that is red for a bunch of cars, but green for a small residential cross street that has no traffic at all in sight.
About  15 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  is getting tired of waiting, because the traffic light just turned green for the other side, but is still red for my direction. It gave a turn signal to the other direction, but there are no cars in the turn lane.
About 14 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… might use bad words right now, if he knew any.
About 14 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  saw that the traffic light finally turned green, and he is on his way.
About  13 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  just passed a housing development and wonders if the rumor is true that one of the famous Osmond family members live in there?
About  12 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  had to swerve to miss somebody’s bag that was laying in the middle of the right lane, before the freeway onramp.
About  11 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  thinks there are too many commercials on the radio.
About  9 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  is almost at work now.
About  5 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  thinks the talk-show host guy on the radio had a good point.
About  4 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan… arrived at work, and decided to go look at his facebook page.
About  1 minutes ago * Updated via facebook esp.

Ryan…  wonders why his friends list is much shorter than when he checked it an hour ago?
A few seconds ago


4 Comments

  1. Michelle says:

    One friend thinks this is scary!

  2. Megan says:

    *snrk*
    Well played, good sir; well played indeed.

  3. Kristen says:

    Make that a second friend who thinks this is a bit scary . . . If this whole ESP/Facebook thing could really happen, I would highly recommend foregoing the sandwich requiring the cheese and sticking with PB&J :).

  4. kristine says:

    facebook on my computer takes minutes too finally load everything..i don’t think it can handle your new application. 🙂 funny!

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